J.D. The Martyr

$90 Can Buy Anything But Love (3 Days and Counting)

Tom got to shadow the Kincaids through their early morning ritual earlier this week.  Today was my turn for the post school routine.  I met Brian at the school, got to meet all of the teachers and post-school care givers, then followed Hannah to Nolan's day care.  The daycare is at a house near Sac City College.  We go in to pick up Nolan, he shows me around and insists that I watch him cavort on, and climb to the top of, the big backyard play structure before packing up his things and heading out.

Upon leaving I notice a funky looking car parked behind mine.  It has what looks like one of those red light cameras, so prominent at major intersections these days, mounted on top of it.  This, of course, temporarily distracts you from the big "Parking Enforcement" shield on the door of the car.  Apparently the day care neighborhood is so close to the college that the city has opted to build its budget on the parking fines it can glean from the immediately surrounding area.

Sitting on my windshield is a little envelope with a "Parking Enforcement" label on the outside, and a $90 parking ticket on the inside.  $90!  Do you want to know the value I place on the opportunity to love and care for other peoples' children?  I'll tell you.  It's $90.01.  We would have been right up to the limit before they'd even left! (If Hannah is reading this in the stress-filled, anxiety-ridden final hours before she leaves tomorrow, she should know that I'm kidding here)  But this would have been the end of daily park-and-pick-up at day care.

There would have been a couple of options.  1. I pull up to the house, and call the day care from my still running car and have them walk Nolan out to me.  2. I pull up to the house, and hang my head out the window of my still running car and holler for them to bring Nolan out to me (I could do this.  I used to stand across the street from my beloved grandmother's home when I wanted to visit, and holler for her to come out and cross me as I was not allowed to cross her busy street myself.  It took awhile, but she always managed to hear me.) 3.Tom could drop Nolan off on the first morning, and then Hannah and Brian could just pick him up two weeks later...I'm sure the nice woman who owns the place wouldn't mind.  4.Nolan suddenly becomes the shortest second grader in Mr. Watson's class at Sims Elementary.

Fortunately, while I was thinking of ways to break the bad news to Hannah, she was already working the Parking Enforcement officer.  He'd asked if the truck belonged to us.  She told him, in one breath, that it was mine, that she was leaving for New Zealand tomorrow, that I was going to be watching her children for her for two weeks, and that she was just trying to show me the ropes, and ran a little longer than usual, and oh yeah, the mini van in front of the truck (also sporting an envelope on the windshield) was hers, and she's really sorry.

Whatever she said, however she said it, seemed to strike a chord.  I was immediately let off, asked to retrieve my envelope and bring it to him.  It took another couple of seconds of pleading to get him to ask for Hannah's as well.  But eventually he did.  I have to say, I have never in my life seen a woman get out of a ticket, let alone two, with that much clothing on.

So lesson learned.  Make sure to get the temporary parking pass from the daycare lady's house as soon as I arrive, and don't stick around for the afternoon performance of Nolan de Soleil.  Quite an exhausting afternoon...and again...we haven't really even started yet.

Do They Make Purina Kid Chow? (4 Days and Counting)

If I was to ever have adult house guests for two weeks (I wouldn't) or maybe if an adult family member needed a place to stay (won't happen) I can imagine that I would spend some amount of time planning meals for them while they were here (which it's unnecessary for me to expound upon, because, again, it aint happenin'.)  But I don't have adults coming, I have kids arriving...very soon I should point out.  Thus, me being me, I find myself wondering just what I might prepare for them while they are with us.

I'm familiar enough with these kids, and their parents, that I have a pretty good head start.  But for extra reassurance I find myself reflecting on my own childhood, and they who spent the most time feeding me when my own parents were away, my grandmothers.  A quick aside; I, at 44, have the extreme good fortune to have both of my grandmothers still among the living.  My maternal grandmother (a mother of ten in her own right) fed us as any mother of ten, who happened to be a nurse, would.  The meals were balanced, the sugars were kept very low, the breads were whole wheat...and everything was made from scratch, and produced with an incredible amount of energy, creativity and love.  My paternal grandmother gave us what we wanted.  If I was staying with her I knew I could count on having anything I wanted. Frosted Flakes for breakfast (verboten at our house,) Mc Donald's for dinner, and PB&Js on Weber's spongey white bread, with the crusts cut off, for lunch.  She also made the best ice cream cakes for birthdays, though maternal grandmother made her patented money cakes for such occasions.  God I love my grandmothers.  These two amazing women, and their very different approach to nurturing (and nutrition) figure heavily on how I plan to feed these boys.

I have a master plan of four meals: hot dogs, mac & cheese, pizza and quesadillas.  These are my "I have no idea what to do" meals.  Easy to do, and guaranteed to work.  Of course the mac & cheese will be homemade, the hot dogs will be from Niman Ranch, and if time allows (and yes, I already know it won't) we could make our own pizzas.  Actually the mac & cheese is really the only one I would hold the line on in crunch time.

I could also make my Mom's spaghetti.  It used ground beef, completely pureed tomatoes ( or possibly tomato juice and tomato paste) and everything else was in powder form: garlic, onion, herbs.  This way my brothers and I would find nothing unexplained or crunchy in our spaghetti sauce.  Those were deal breakers back in the day.

I would go on record and say Mickey D's won't happen, but I would hate to find myself eating those words by next Thursday.  Let's just say that if I admit to taking them there, you'll all be able to easily discern the type of day we're having.

In the end I would like to keep the Big 4 as back up, and try to get the boys to try a few new things while they're here.  Cal loves to cook, and kids will eat what they themselves make.  Years ago I had our niece Celeste help make lasagna (which she had never eaten) and now she not only loves it, but insists on helping make it.  I think I'll try to work that angle with Cal, as I know he's the fussier of the two eaters.

I should point out that these basic kid friendly dinners have another plus side to them.  Tom will be absolutely over the moon about these meals!  He is, despite appearances, a seven year old boy when it's time for dinner. 

So thats the plan, if you can call it that.  Basic food options at the ready, hopeful for some horizon expanding cooking/eating sessions with potentially finicky eaters, and a drive through less than 2 miles away in three different directions.  Then again...we might just wind up having Frosted Flakes for dinner one night.  Stay tuned!

Taking Kids to School 101: 5 Days and Counting

When my 3 brothers and I were young the way my parents got us off to school in the morning was they held the door open for us.  I walked, or took the bus (a trip which ironically, took as long, if not longer than walking) to my local elementary school.  If it rained I walked or took the bus with my hood up.

So with that in mind, Tom had to go learn how to take Cal and Nolan to school today.  Anybody in the Northern Central Valley will know that today was quite a day.  Some Filipino typhoon leftover came washing over us today, bringing torrential rains and some pretty harsh winds.  Nothing like trial by fire!

Thus, Tom leaves the house shortly after 6:00 so he can be at the Kincade's house by 6:30 for their 6:45 departure time.  Hannah had originally stated that she would not allow Tom in the house during those 15 minutes because she did not want him to see the reality of what he was getting into until she was safely on another continent.  Fortunately she relented on that point and Tom was allowed into the inner Kincade sanctum to observe the morning ritual at critical mass.

Both boys decide they want to ride with Tom so Hannah "loads" the car seats into Tom's car and the boys belt themselves in.  By "loads" I mean she heaved them into Tom's backseat.  Now I'm not sure, but aren't those things supposed to be somehow fastened to the seat of the car itself, and not just sitting there?  Hmmm, may have to look into that. 

Now Tom has the boys (loosely) fastened into his car, and is waiting for Hannah to drive out so he can follow her.  Garage door goes up, car pulls out and down the driveway, Tom pursues.  After a couple of minutes Tom wonders if Hannah is taking the correct route.  Cal assures him that she is, and Hannah has assured us both that Cal knows the way.  Another minute or so and Tom's phone rings.  It's Hannah...back at the house...Tom is apparently following Brian as he heads directly to Elk Grove without stopping at the boys' school.  So Tom u-turns it and heads back to Casa Kincade to reconnect with Hannah and get headed in the proper direction.

Eventually everyone got where they needed to get.  Tom met all of the necessary teachers, day care providers, and verifiers of identity.  It's so second nature to Hannah and Brian that I doubt they realize just how much they're doing in the morning.  But for a couple of guys with "sit on our butts drinking coffee" on our list of morning activities, this could be interesting.

The Next Great Adventure (6 Days and Counting)

So far in 2009 we have traveled the width and breadth of four of the western United States. We have also been fortunate enough to have visited four foreign countries. Adventure has practically been our identifying theme for the year 2009. All of it, apparently, helping us to get ready for the next great adventure of our year.

On Sunday, October 18, Tom and I will be welcoming some house guests. While our friends Brian and Hannah are visiting family in New Zealand for a couple of weeks, their two sons, Cal (7) and Nolan (4) will be staying with us. We will be getting them up in the morning. We will be trying to get them to school on time. We will be picking them up in the afternoon and making sure the homework gets done. We'll be making kid friendly dinners (Tom is so excited), getting them ready for, and into, bed. We'll be keeping them happy and trying to help them deal with missing Mom & Dad. We'll be making sure they continue to feel as valued and loved as I know they usually do. And of course, keeping careful care of the much vaunted Soccer Bag (practically a sacred icon in their house.)

No one I have spoken with seems to think that we know what we've gotten into.  We do...mostly.  It'll be a huge challenge, and like all huge challenges, any payoffs will be equally huge I'm sure. I know there are a million things I haven't thought of to go along with the million that I'm already fretting about.  I know that there is a relatively good chance that by the second or third day I may start taking on a slightly more haggard appearance, and find myself yawning more than usual.

We have no real other plans for that time.  I do at least know better than to think there will be plenty of down time.  All in all I have to say that I may not fully realize what this will be like, but I doubt what I'm picturing is too far off the mark.  I was the oldest of four wild and crazy boys for many years, and do lets not forget how I spend my daytime hours.

Anywho...if you find yourself wondering how it's going, and I actually find time to share, this will be the place to come for updates.  Read, enjoy, laugh, and wish us luck!  Should be a kick!